Reviewed by Frank McKone
Political satire, written, composed and performed by John Shortis and Moya Simpson.
Shortis & Curlies John Shortis, Moya Simpson, Andrew Bissett at The School of Arts Cafe, 108 Monaro Street, Queanbeyan. Season: Thursdays to Saturdays till June 29, 1996.
If you are a Liberal politician confident that cutting government spending is the only way to go; or a Labor politician feeling sorry for yourself after 100 days of the new regime; or a veterinary surgeon operating out of Woden Valley; or someone who thinks that a national gun register is not a good idea; or Princess Diana; or Jeff Kennett; or even a frozen embryo who hopes to inherit your dead father's estate: then you shouldn't see this show because you probably won't laugh.
This is how I introduced Shortis & Simpson when they began performing in 1996. Nowadays, with Shortis and only one Curly, how much has changed since the first 100 days of John Howard’s eleven years, 1996 – 2007, of Conservative government (weirdly called ‘Liberal’ in this country) and the possible prospect of an even more right-wing conservative Peter Dutton government from early in 2025.
In the meantime the political issues may have changed their names and parties like the Prime Ministers: Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd (weirdly called ‘Labor’ instead of Labour) 2007-2013; Tony Abbott, Malcolm Turnbull, Scott Morrison (Liberal National Coalition) 2013-2022; Anthony Albanese (Labor) 2022-2025, so far.
Shortis & Simpson have remained the same in principle and have developed in practice over these three decades, receiving a Canberra Critics’ Circle award this year, the citation reading “for their original music series, Under the Influence, in which the duo wove their own stories and music together with those of guest artists Keith Potger, Karen Middleton, DJ Gosper, Nigel McRae and Beth Tully, culminating in seasons with Mikelangelo and Fred Smith…. [an] initiative [which] proved a creative way of highlighting leading Canberra region popular musicians.”
And their full house at Smith’s Alternative tonight still laughed, and sang and clapped along, and even groaned appropriately, as they did at the Queanbeyan School of Arts Café – this time at Lydia Thorpe’s intended insult but unintended comic mispronunciation of King Charles’ heirs as ‘hairs’ rather than ‘airs’, stirring up John Shortis’ fascination with word play via The Hare and the Tortoise to this show’s title, The Hair and the Shortis. Moya made it very clear who had the hair and who was the shortis.
The people who probably wouldn’t have laughed include the CEOs of Woolworths and Coles supermarkets; the Treasurer, Jim Chalmers; Elon Musk; Tronald Dump; all the Moonlight Senatas to Beethoven’s tune, up all night rushing bills through while Albo’s In The Air with John Paul Young, after enjoying his time in the Chantas Quairman’s Lounge; the new local Australian Capital Territory Liberal leader, Country&Western singer, Leanne Castley; the richest woman in Australia, Gina Rinehart, after her smooching with Nigel Farage at Trump’s dinner party at Mar-a-Lago; Senator Lydia Thorpe – they want to get rydia; and many others.
You wouldn’t want to be a Middle American either; or a Peter Dutton type who can pronounce ‘nuclear’ in every way except the right way – and seriously imagine covering Australia with nuclear power plants.
Then there are different, intriguing songs and stories. The Childless Dog Lady, that is Moya Simpson herself, doesn’t seek sympathy, but recognition of her personal preference for dogs rather than children, rather than being insulted as a Childless Cat Lady as Kamala Harris has been. While there was the story of the Australian native stingless bees kept at Parliament House in Canberra, but which don’t like our frosts and are taken to Sydney each winter to breed, and how they become a model for our politicians to become stingless, instead of stinging each other and us like European bees.
I can’t report here on all 26 items in this engaging show before the encore, but that was an enlightening history in itself of protest movements and their songs which made a powerful finale.
The important thing to say about Shortis&Simpson is that they are an essential part of our community. We feel every year how we belong to them and they belong to us. And they have promised me that they will be there with us again next year.
